Our team player

I have always know how amazing Mary Katie is.... and would be when she grew up.... today was no exception.

After what was already a rough day of dealing with funeral arrangements, etc. Tim and I took the second longest drive of our lives (the first was to the hospital on Saturday) over to his parents house to tell the girls.

We told Mary first because I wanted to give her time to cry and ask questions. I also know her so well in that she would want to help her sister and thought her "big girl" role would give her something to do and occupy her time.

We sat her down and I started to cry. I told her I was very sad and that I had something to tell her. I asked her if she remembered when Grandma Goldie went to heaven. She said yes and I explained that pap pap's "bad boo boo" in his heart had gotten worse and that, although they had tried very very hard, the heart doctors could not fix it; that pap had gone to heaven to be with Grandma Goldie. It was as if the sunshine had been taken out of her smile. She knew is was real, she didn't even need to ask.

I told her the world needed a new cardiologist that could study and perfect mitral valve replacement and would find a way that no other family would ever have to go through this. She said that sounded like a great idea and she could do it.

She told me that she didn't want to cry "till later" and she would let me know if she had any questions. She wanted to know if grandma Fran would alone in her house. And I told her the truth.

Then I told her I'd need her to help me get Claire to understand and that we'd have to help her rmember him. So we brought Claire up stairs and As I began to tell her... Mary Kate said, "No mommy, I'll do it. Clarie Pap Pap Fran had a very bad boo boo and the heart doctors couldn't fix it. Pap Pap went to heaven to be with Grandma Goldie and Jesus"

WOW

Claire skooted over to tim and just held him. Then hey brought me a TON of kleenex... so cute...they are really trying to take care of their Mom.

She has show her pain,but won't cry.... that will come.
I told her it was ok to cry and that just under her chin deep in her chest she might feel something hurting... later she told me it was.

About an hour or so later while shopping.. she asked if the doctors tried everything and why didn't they do it right...... there are really no good answers there.



I've been so worried that Mary will never have my dad a coach...his dream.... and mine, since he was an amazing coach and a true super talent. He had a knack for motivating others and the heart of a winner. He desired nothing more than to see his players, usually female atheletes, shine. He enjoyed every minute of Mary's first soccer season and was revealing in her basketball persuits. He must have asked me fifty times the week prior to his operation if I'd gotten her signed up for indoor soccer and the winter basketball season. Maybe he knew something.

You see.. I was afraid that she missed out on his coaching...but i was wrong... she already has it.... she coached me right though my grief and showed me it would be ok.

We will get through this....